Our Chat with Julie Eshelman

GIVE US A BEHIND-THE-SCENES PEEK AT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY – HOW DID YOU BECOME A MILITARY SPOUSE (MILSPOUSE)? WHAT DO YOU DO IN ADDITION TO BEING A MILSPOUSE? AND A FUN FACT ABOUT YOUR MILITARY FAMILY?

My husband and I met in college in 2009. It's actually kind of a funny story because his roommate at the time had a crush on me. His roommate had asked a mutual friend to arrange a time for us to hang out, and I reluctantly agreed so he would stop pestering her. His mistake was that he brought his roommate along, and didn't talk to me at all. That left the door for me and his roommate (my husband) to talk, and I knew right away that he was the one.

I was thrust into military life right away because my husband was in the ROTC program, and while we dated for six years I count that time as part of my MilSpouse journey. We navigated TDYs, annual trainings, a three year state-side mobilization, and more all before we were married. When we did get married in 2015 it was also at a time when we were juggling the possibilities of a deployment which added an extra layer of chaos to planning our wedding.

When we started trying to build our family we thought it would be so easy, but we eventually learned that for a lot of people, it isn't as easy as we were led to believe. We learned that we were a part of a club that no one ever wants to be a part of, the 1 in 6 who experience infertility worldwide. That came with hurdle after hurdle to jump over, and more heartache than I can explain. After many years of fertility treatments and several losses, we welcomed our rainbow baby in 2021.

But what I found in all of that was my true calling and purpose. In 2023 I founded Building Military Families Network to create an organization to provide our community with the support and resources that I needed during my family building journey and that I knew others needed as well. It has been a way for me to take my pain and frustrations and turn them into something beautiful to support the next generation. Building Military Families Network provides support, education, and resources to our community, and advocates for legislation to increase insurance coverage and other pro-family legislation. All of this wouldn't be possible without the support and encouragement of my amazing husband.

A fun fact about our family is that we love exploring and visiting National Parks. We keep our National Parks Passport in our car and we pack it in our suitcase every time we fly somewhere. It is also our favorite way to take a break during PCS drives because we can get out to stretch our legs and learn something new.

WHICH MILITARY BRANCH DOES YOUR SPOUSE SERVE IN AND FOR HOW MANY YEARS HAS HE SERVED?

My husband serves in the Army Reserves and is part of the Active Guard Reserve (AGR) program. He calls it the best kept secret of the Army Reserves.

WHERE HAS THE MILITARY MOVED YOUR FAMILY OVER THE YEARS? WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE DUTY STATION AND WHY?

We've done a lot of moving over the years. We've done 5 moves in 7 years. Picking a favorite duty station is hard because we always try to focus on the things we love at each. While we just moved this past summer back to where our love story began, the college where we met, I think my husband and I would both say Scottsdale, AZ. Although, I don't think my husband can really vote on that because out of the 2 years we lived there, he was only physically there for maybe 3 months total due to a deployment and attending a school.

But since we were both born and raised on the east coast, living in the desert was something that we never would have expected, or would have chosen. Arizona was beautiful. There were so many things to do and see and the weather was amazing. I think the only thing we could complain about was the scorpions, and we never had one in the house, so that's not really a complaint.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A MILITARY SPOUSE? TELL US SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED OR HAS MADE YOU STRONGER BECAUSE YOU ARE A MILSPOUSE?

I think my favorite part of being a military spouse is all of the places we get to see. My entire family basically lives in the same county so we never got to travel a lot growing up. As military families, we get the opportunity to live in so many different places. We get to experience different cultures, try new foods, and see new places. That is so incredible.

While moving so often creates challenges in building a local community and support system, especially for an AGR family that is rarely stationed near a military base. I also think that has made me stronger. I have had to find other ways to build community locally and be more intentional with my military community online that supports me.

WHO INSPIRES YOU AND WHY?

After contemplating this for some time I couldn't come up with just one person. I would say those who inspire me the most are my mentors. I've had several mentors in various areas of my life, and the one thing they all have in common is a fearless and relentless approach to life. They strive to find solutions while always demonstrating kindness and compassion. All of those qualities are ones that I hope I embody and they are leaders that I strive to be like.

Milspo Strong Bracelet with Meaning Card - Wear this bracelet as your everyday reminder that you are not alone on this journey. The common threads that weave through your life stories give you the courage to face the next chapter of your military family journey. Your milspouse tribe stands with you, helping you to dig deep and embrace change – they are your source of strength. You’re not just strong – you’re Milspo Strong!

WHICH CHARLIEMADISON EVERYDAY REMINDER DO YOU WEAR ON YOUR WRIST AND WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THAT PARTICULAR BRACELET?

It's so hard to choose just one, but lately, I have been loving the Milspo Strong Bracelet. I love the new design with the smaller beads and it is a constant reminder that I can do hard things.

Shop Her Bracelet

WHAT DO YOU DO TO STAY CONNECTED TO WHAT MATTERS MOST, DESPITE THE UNCERTAINTY, FREQUENT MOVES, AND DEPLOYMENTS THAT GO ALONG WITH BEING A MILITARY FAMILY?

I have to be intentional, and when I'm not that's when those connections slip or get weak. It's not always easy, but when I take the time to focus on what matters the most it helps me stay grounded and connected to the people and things that matter most.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A FELLOW MILITARY SPOUSE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH MILITARY LIFE OR DEPLOYMENT?

Give yourself some grace and don't compare yourself to anyone else. We all manage and deal with stress, grief, disappointment, and even joy differently. You have to find what works for you and your family, and that doesn't always look like what our friends and neighbors are doing. If you haven't found what works yet, that's okay. It takes time, and sometimes what worked before no longer works. It's also okay to ask for help, and sometimes we need to ask for help even when that makes us uncomfortable.

WE HAPPEN TO BE QUOTE LOVERS AROUND HERE – CAN YOU SHARE A FAVORITE QUOTE THAT KEEPS YOU INSPIRED?

I've had many through different seasons of my life, but this is my current motivator and it can even be found on my LinkedIn profile.

“You will never ever be successful, until you turn your pain into greatness, until you allow your pain to push you from where you are to push you to where you need to be. Stop running from your pain and embrace your pain. Your pain is going to be a part of your prize, a part of your product. I challenge you to push yourself.” - Eric Thomas

Where can our readers find you online?

WEBSITE

https://www.buildingmilitaryfamiliesnetwork.org

EMAIL

julie@buildingmilitaryfamiliesnetwork.org

FACEBOOK

@buildingmilitaryfamiliesnetwork

Follow On Facebook

@buildingmilitaryfamiliesnet

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Meet a MilSpouse Series

SHINING A LIGHT ON THE MILITARY SPOUSE COMMUNITY

Get inspired by the amazing things these military spouses are doing to support military families around the world