Our Chat with Lindsay Swoboda

GIVE US A BEHIND-THE-SCENES PEEK AT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY – HOW DID YOU BECOME A MILITARY SPOUSE (MILSPOUSE)? WHAT DO YOU DO IN ADDITION TO BEING A MILSPOUSE? AND A FUN FACT ABOUT YOUR MILITARY FAMILY?

I tried hard not to become a military spouse! I broke up with my then-boyfriend (now husband) when we were nineteen. He went off to boot camp as I went into college, and at the time, I believed we could not make it work. But after three years of growth, maturity, heartfelt conversations, and flights to reconnect, we both realized our love was real, it was significant, and we didn’t want to do life without one another.

We’re now heading into sixteen years of marriage, and I’m so grateful we turned our doubts into determination and have fought for one another. We have two beautiful young children, Evelyn and Hunter and at the moment we are homeschooling them so that we have some years of adventuring together.

I was a professional dancer for years across stages in America and with Carnival Cruise Lines. After getting married, I transitioned to teaching at performing arts academies and dance studios. I even opened a program on base in Seoul, South Korea when we were stationed there!

While I loved my time in the performing arts, once we had children I started nurturing my love for writing. I have since taken on the role of writer and editor, working with various publications in the military community. I created The Work of Words Workshop with Legacy Magazine to champion military and service families to write their stories in an intimate, safe, and engaging setting. Most recently, I have become an author, and my memoir, Holding On and Letting Go: A Life in Motion, will release in May 2025 with Elva Resa Publishing.

A fun fact about our military family is that we spent almost ten years on consecutive OCONUS (overseas) tours. We have traveled to every continent except Antarctica. I don’t love being cold, but we might still venture there to tick every continent off our list!

WHICH MILITARY BRANCH DOES YOUR SPOUSE SERVE IN AND FOR HOW MANY YEARS HAS HE SERVED?

Marine Corps, and he has served twenty so far.

WHERE HAS THE MILITARY MOVED YOUR FAMILY OVER THE YEARS? WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE DUTY STATION AND WHY?

We have been stationed in Monterey, California, Seoul, South Korea, Marine Corps Base Hawaii, Rabat, Morocco, Quito, Ecuador, Suffolk, Virginia, and finally, Texas! I have a hard time picking a favorite because they have all had various ups and downs. I feel like I grew a lot when we were stationed in Rabat, Morocco, and Quito, Ecuador. Those were special assignments as we were part of the Marine Corps Embassy Security Group, and I felt we were able to help foster a community atmosphere with the Marines whilst still supporting the greater mission.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A MILITARY SPOUSE? TELL US SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED OR HAS MADE YOU STRONGER BECAUSE YOU ARE A MILSPOUSE?

One of my favorite parts of being a military spouse has been learning how to grow, engage, and support each other in the community. Sometimes that has looked like our fellow military families, but it has also looked like learning how to deeply connect and hold space with others, investing in caring for each other. I have learned to step back and listen. I will always value the people that I come into contact with, and hope to be a light bearer, and/or a place to pause and hear someone else’s story.

I have learned that while we are part of a big family in the military, we are all living vastly different narratives. If I can pause, honor, and process both the hard parts of my story and the good parts of my story, I can then work toward healing and encourage others to do the same.

I was stronger when I realized that I could ask for help as a military spouse. That strength grew when I finally admitted when I was deeply struggling and stopped shaming myself for not being able to automatically “push through” challenges. Once I sought help in counseling, my awareness grew, and so did the tools I had in my toolbox to confront the demands in my life.

WHO INSPIRES YOU AND WHY?

Corie Weathers has been a beacon of hope and wisdom on my journey as a military spouse. From the very first time I encountered her podcast, Lifegiver, I started to understand that this military life is unique. Through listening to her podcast, reading her books, and having her as a mentor and friend, I have been deeply impacted by her courage and strength to move forward with wisdom and to recognize how to share my gifts with our community.

WHICH CHARLIEMADISON EVERYDAY REMINDER DO YOU WEAR ON YOUR WRIST AND WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THAT PARTICULAR BRACELET?

I wear the Independent Wellness Summit Rediscover You bracelet on my wrist to remind myself that while sometimes this military lifestyle can turn me upside down in anxiety, I have friends to turn to, both near and far. The wellness summit has been an integral part of my year where I reset and refocus. I cannot control what is next, but I can stop and breathe. I can do the next right thing, no matter how small, and do it with love.

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WHAT DO YOU DO TO STAY CONNECTED TO WHAT MATTERS MOST, DESPITE THE UNCERTAINTY, FREQUENT MOVES, AND DEPLOYMENTS THAT GO ALONG WITH BEING A MILITARY FAMILY?

In hard seasons, I have often wanted to hold so tightly to my control that my knuckles turned white. I have had to learn it is a lot like the children’s book, Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen. In the book, the author talks about different obstacles that the children face when they are trying to catch a bear. They learn they can’t go over them, they can’t go around them, they have to go THROUGH the obstacle. I wish it wasn’t so. I wish that the uncertainty, frequent moves, deployments, and general frustration with being a military family weren’t as prevalent. But it’s all there, it is all part of the story, part of my story.

And slowly, without a prescriptive hack or quick step guide, we had to move through it. I have needed to take it one step at a time, asking for help along the way, being of help to others, and believing in myself and my marriage. I recently heard Celion Dion say in an interview, “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together.” I choose to surround myself with what matters most– dear hearts to cheer on in my family, friends, and overall community.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A FELLOW MILITARY SPOUSE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH MILITARY LIFE OR DEPLOYMENT?

Do not do this life alone. There are so many ways to plug into a community. And I realize that community might not always be right there in front of you. I have had lonely duty stations where I spent several months talking to more of my friends long-distance than I had in person. Digital can’t replace in-person connection, but it can fill the gap for a time.

I would also tell you that sometimes we can tick every box on the wellness scale and still not feel completely ourselves in this lifestyle. I’m sorry if you are there, and I want you to know that it can get better, but we have to reach out– find a trusted confidant and start talking. Start today. You are worthy of feeling like your whole self in your whole life, but you might need extra help and encouragement to get there, and that is okay.

WE HAPPEN TO BE QUOTE LOVERS AROUND HERE – CAN YOU SHARE A FAVORITE QUOTE THAT KEEPS YOU INSPIRED?

Yes. One of my very favorite books is The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. There is a scene where the small mouse, Despereaux, is down in a dark dungeon and he is told, “Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark…Make some light.”

To your light, friends. Thank you for having me.

Where can our readers find you online?

WEBSITE

https://lindsayswo.substack.com/

EMAIL

hello@upliftinganchor.com

Instagram

@lindsay.swo

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SHINING A LIGHT ON THE MILITARY SPOUSE COMMUNITY

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