Our Chat with Kayla Corbitt

GIVE US A BEHIND-THE-SCENES PEEK AT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY – HOW DID YOU BECOME A MILITARY SPOUSE (MILSPOUSE)? WHAT DO YOU DO IN ADDITION TO BEING A MILSPOUSE? AND A FUN FACT ABOUT YOUR MILITARY FAMILY?

While I wouldn't change who I married for anything, I certainly wish I had done some additional research into MilSpouse life. I met my husband while I was finishing graduate school and he was stationed at a hospital nearby. I didn't have any knowledge about the lifestyle aside from commercials and comments made in passing. A little over a year after we met, we were engaged. We had a wedding scheduled for two years later, but an impending deployment moved that timeline up. We have been "building the bus as we drive it" together since then.

What don't I do in addition to being a MilSpouse? Just kidding, sort of. I am a mother, a researcher, a lifelong learner, an advocate, and a die-hard gardener. Gardening is a challenge, and I encourage my MilSpouse friends who perhaps overload themselves to go ahead and throw gardening in as well. It is something you can't rush, but the frequent relocations across soil types, zones, and climates keep it challenging even in the slow parts. The largest time investment I offer as a military spouse is my work in my non-profit, The Operation Child Care Project. This is where my research and advocacy pieces overlap.

A fun fact about our military family is that my oldest was one of the last babies born at the installation hospital in Aviano, Italy. There were only a handful of us left there. They even tried to send me home with an obscene amount of newborn diapers. I took one look at my nearly 9 pound newborn and encouraged them to gift those to the pediatrics department.

WHICH MILITARY BRANCH DOES YOUR SPOUSE SERVE IN AND FOR HOW MANY YEARS HAS HE SERVED?

My spouse has been in the Army for about 16 years now. He had just reclassed from a combat medic to a physical therapy tech as an enlisted service member when we met. He recently transitioned to the officer side after obtaining his doctorate in physical therapy.

WHERE HAS THE MILITARY MOVED YOUR FAMILY OVER THE YEARS? WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE DUTY STATION AND WHY?

The military has kept things interesting. We have lived OCONUS in Vicenza, Italy, Maryland (twice), San Antonio, TX, and Colorado Springs. I have to say that Colorado Springs is my favorite so far. It may just be the stage we are in with our lives, but it is beautiful, and there is so much to do.

We have always been an outdoor family but that is incredibly difficult in Texas with small children. Since arriving at this duty station we have heavily invested in our exploration time. The children are finally old enough to walk (on their own) and do some independent exploration. We enjoy the school system, the mountains, and the community efforts made for military families.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A MILITARY SPOUSE? TELL US SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED OR HAS MADE YOU STRONGER BECAUSE YOU ARE A MILSPOUSE?

My absolute favorite part of being a military spouse is that it has expanded my personal, professional, and cultural worldview. It has created growth opportunities, which are painful at times as growth typically is. When those worldviews are expanded and I have the information I need to be better, I am usually only a few months away from a PCS, creating an opportunity to reinvent myself with that growth.

My strength as a MilSpouse comes from the community. I have never doubted that I could do hard things. My entire life has been working through hard things. The difficulty lies in thinking you are alone in those hard things. When I connect with other MilSpouses and families I can see that the trials and tribulations that I encountered are no different than the ones those around me have conquered. Knowing we are all out here, doing it, everyday, is pretty powerful.

WHO INSPIRES YOU AND WHY?

Is it cliche to say, my children inspire me? I don't mean in a literal sense. Anyone with a child under 6 knows nothing is inspirational about taking your pants, undies, and socks off all in one ball. I mean in the sense that I get to see (and cultivate) a world that is inspirational for them. They are new here; what they see around them is reality without the skewed lens that we as adults have.

It inspires me to be intentional with my time, words, and actions. The life they are living now will shape the foundation for what they expect of others in their lives. I cannot think of anything more inspirational than leading with bravery and kindness for the next generation.

Trailblazer Mini Bracelet with Meaning Card - You’re an innovator, fearlessly leading the way with a sense of adventure, and passionate about implementing the endless ideas that keep you up at night. Wear this bracelet as your everyday reminder to remain curious, cultivate a mindset of persistence, and believe that your journey inspires others who are looking to you as an example of what’s possible.

WHICH CHARLIEMADISON EVERYDAY REMINDER DO YOU WEAR ON YOUR WRIST AND WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THAT PARTICULAR BRACELET?

The Trailblazer Bracelet! I had just launched my non-profit at that time. While it was work I had been doing for quite a while, I had to put my brave face on and decide if I was in or out. I invested every spare cent I had in Military Influencer Conference 2023 and shared my passion. It was there I met the Charliemadison team, connected with inspirational advocates, and won a competition affirming that I am doing what I was meant to do. To me, this bracelet serves as a reminder that the way I am investing my time matters.

Shop Her Bracelet

WHAT DO YOU DO TO STAY CONNECTED TO WHAT MATTERS MOST, DESPITE THE UNCERTAINTY, FREQUENT MOVES, AND DEPLOYMENTS THAT GO ALONG WITH BEING A MILITARY FAMILY?

Our big family rule is to tackle each day with bravery and kindness. At the end of each day, we check in, "Were you brave today? Were you kind?". The answer is sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes, others were not kind. Sometimes, one of us made bad choices. Together we acknowledge the toughness of those missteps and determine that we can do better the next day. Our family, birth or chosen, is going to struggle. We make it through by giving grace where it is requested, knowing what happens each day is fleeting. Tomorrow is a new day and we are supported.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A FELLOW MILITARY SPOUSE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH MILITARY LIFE OR DEPLOYMENT?

I would tell my fellow military spouses who are struggling that there isn't a right way to do any of this life. I have spoken to thousands of families at this point, and I can tell you that they all struggle. The ones who seem to be thriving outwardly are frequently struggling internally—those who may lash out often don't know how to handle that struggle internally. Whether you find yourself furious, depressed, relieved, anxious, guilt-ridden, or content, they are all correct, and we are all navigating them. Find your people, or even a person, and speak it. Tomorrow is a new day, and you should feel supported.

WE HAPPEN TO BE QUOTE LOVERS AROUND HERE – CAN YOU SHARE A FAVORITE QUOTE THAT KEEPS YOU INSPIRED?

I have to preface this quote because it is not going to sound brave or kind, stick with me. I have found that in this advocacy space, it is easy to feel like people, organizations, or policies are intentionally being set up to make life difficult. Over time, I have realized that, more often than not, it is simply that everyone cannot know everything. The quote is from an old joke book; I changed the word stupidity for ignorance because it is not a word I use.

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by ignorance."

When I face challenges in my work I stay on the right path by remembering this quote and ensuring that I approach difficult situations with the understanding that the other party simply needs my patience and knowledge.

Where can our readers find you online?

WEBSITE

https://www.occproject.org/

kayla@occproject.org

FACEBOOK

@kcorbitt

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SHINING A LIGHT ON THE MILITARY SPOUSE COMMUNITY

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