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One of my absolute favorite things about this business is the opportunity to connect with fellow military spouses who are putting out so much good into the world. Dr. Courtney Barber is one of those amazing gals!
Courtney is a current Space Force spouse and former Air Force spouse, Mom of three, and the owner of Barber Family Counseling & Wellness. She was chosen as the 2024 Armed Forces Insurance Space Force Spouse of the Year and went on to win the overall 2024 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year. It was an honor to be in that ballroom and listen to your acceptance speech. Congratulations Courtney!
I am so excited to share Courtney’s story and her sweet family. Say hello to my friend, Dr. Courtney Barber!
GIVE US A BEHIND-THE-SCENES PEEK AT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY – HOW DID YOU BECOME A MILITARY SPOUSE (MILSPOUSE)? WHAT DO YOU DO IN ADDITION TO BEING A MILSPOUSE? AND A FUN FACT ABOUT YOUR MILITARY FAMILY?
When I met my husband, I never wanted to get married, had a rule against dating those in uniform (police, fire, military; due to fear of things I had heard), anyone younger than me, and anyone with children. Little did I know, my future husband would break all of these “rules”.
When I winked at him, all I knew was that he was 2 years younger than me (21 months if were really counting), which I looked past because there was just something about him. He replied almost immediately and after a few message exchanges he asked me if we could Facetime.
Historically, I would have said “No”, as online dating can be weird and creepy at times, but for reasons unknown I agreed; and I am so glad that I did. I found out that he was a member of the US Air Force as his request to Facetime was so that he could use Wi-Fi because he was TDY in Guam. We talked, every day, for up to a whopping 16 hours a day on some days, for 16 days straight.
His trip kept slipping due to issues with the jet, and we were both afforded this incredible opportunity to really get to know each other based solely on direct communication. We fell asleep on the phone together, bonded over Shark Week and life stories and a few days before he came home, he said “I love you” during a mutual laughing fit. While his statement scared me, because it was fast and we had never met in person, it was even scarier because I felt the same.
When he landed, he drove straight to my place for our first date, and the rest is history. We were instant besties and got married one year from the day we met.
In addition to being a MilSpouse I own and operate Barber Family Counseling & Wellness, a mental health and wellness group practice, with locations in Colorado Springs, CO and Las Vegas, NV. I am also a psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist, having completed all 3 degrees since becoming a military spouse, and creating a large passion for mentoring and empowering other MilSpouses to follow their dreams and ambitions.
A fun fact about our family is that we are all HUGE University of Michigan fans (GO BLUE!!) and we all LOVE to travel; plane rides actually calm our children. A fun fact about my husband and I, we have inverted birthdays and share the same favorite number.
WHICH MILITARY BRANCH DOES YOUR SPOUSE SERVE IN AND FOR HOW MANY YEARS HAS HE SERVED?
My husband has been an officer in the United Space Force since 2020 (4 years). Prior to this, he served as an officer in the United States Air Force from 2016 to 2020 (4 years). Prior to that, he served as an enlisted member of the United States Air Force from 2008 (7 years).
We met while he was stationed at Travis AFB, about 30 minutes from home for me, and have only had one true PCS to Colorado Springs. Since arriving we have bounced between Schriever and Peterson but are grateful to have had the opportunity to remain in the area.
Our family loves it here - it is absolutely beautiful, and the autism services we have access to have been phenomenal in the progress, growth, and development of our middle daughter. Our time in Colorado Springs has been very special as this is where we have really launched, as a couple, a family, and professionally.
My favorite part of being a MilSpouse is being able to connect with a multitude of people. Through this shared experience, I have built relationships and engaged in my passion to serve, mentor and empower others. There is absolutely nothing like serving, supporting, and building community, in my eyes.
Because I came into the MilSpouse world "later" in life (late 20’s), I had to learn a lot and fast. There are many pros and cons to this commitment to service, all of which have made me stronger.
Since becoming a MilSpouse I have become more aware, more intentional, more curious instead of assumptive, more kind and much, much, MUCH more patient. I have been called on to be flexible and understanding in ways I could have never imagined, and I have proven to myself that I can pivot, reposition, and make some really good lemonade out of some of the sourest of lemons.
WHO INSPIRES YOU AND WHY?
While there are many people who inspire me, daily, my husband and my children are my greatest inspirations. My husband’s drive, tenacity, intelligence, determination, ability to naturally strategize, problem solve and overcome, along with his quick wit, humor and big heart, have consistently amazed and inspired me since the day we met.
No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect, but I feel that I have been incredibly fortunate to walk alongside a person who has always believed in me, has always encouraged me to “go for it”, and someone that I am able to grow and overcome hardships with, hopefully, while continuing to inspire each other along the way.
Our children inspire me because they did not sign up for this commitment to country, but they serve it with such grace, understanding and strength. Their abilities, love and support are more special and beautiful than words can describe and are a true inspiration.
No matter how I stack my bracelets, you will almost always find me wearing my Military Family Bracelet. I typically stack 3 CM bracelets on my left wrist, daily.
The Military Family bracelet is beautiful, I love the sparkle in the beads. It is also fitting to my military story, as the colors (ironically) are those of both Air Force and Space Force and serve as a reminder of our military journey and all of the precious connections I have made.
My family matters the most to me. For me, this not solely defined by those related to me by blood. I define my family as those that I have shared space with, grown with, cried with, vented to and have been a shoulder for.
Those that I do not have to talk to every day, every week, or every month, but that the next time we connect it is like no time passed at all. Those that know I am only ever a call/text away. I am forever grateful for the bonds I have made, and continue to make, during this journey, and thank goodness for technology!
Life is unpredictable, and it is short, connections and experiences are what fill my cup.
My advice is please do not try to go at this alone and please do not hesitate to reach out. I think sometimes MilSpouses have this narrative that we "have to be strong", we "knew what we were signing up for", we "do not want to make waves", we "do not want to be a burden" or appear like we are "complaining", when this kind of narrative does not allow us to be human.
There are MilSpouses, everywhere, who are ready and willing to support (if at a bare minimum) to validate you and your experience; just reach out. If you struggle alone in silence, you will never feel heard.
WE HAPPEN TO BE QUOTE LOVERS AROUND HERE – CAN YOU SHARE A FAVORITE QUOTE THAT KEEPS YOU INSPIRED?
I have many, but I say these two to myself often:
"If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough."- Ellen Johnson
"You are what you do, not what you say you will do."- Carl Jung
WHERE CAN OUR READERS FIND YOU ONLINE?
courtney@barberfamilycounseling.com
Get inspired by the amazing things these military spouses are doing to support military families around the world
